


Sins of the Father

by thejabberwock



Series: Dean Winchester Codas [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s12e22 Who We Are, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 22:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11171616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejabberwock/pseuds/thejabberwock
Summary: Dean didn't fail Sam. John did.





	Sins of the Father

Moving carefully for his busted knee, Dean steps into the bunker’s war room with a tilted smile as he shakes the little bottle of pills. “Found some expired prescription painkillers. Lucky me.” 

Mary smiles tiredly and Dean’s own smile fades as he sees her stooping to pick up junk from the floor.  “Mom, you don’t have to do that. That’s not your job.” 

Mary straightens, the weariness making the lines in her face heavier as she walks slowly over to him, her face tilting up to study his when she’s close enough. She reaches out but curls her hand away before making contact and Dean’s chest tightens, as it has so often since she’s been back. And now, all the shit he said while they were in her head… he wishes he hadn’t said all that. It’s not her fault, not really. She didn’t know–

“It wasn’t your job either,” she says quietly and Dean blinks as he tries to follow what she means. “To be Sam’s… to take on so much responsibility for him. You never should have had to–”

“It’s okay, Mom,” he says, voice rough as he tries a smile. It doesn’t work very well and it only makes grief brighten his mother’s eyes.  “You don’t have to–”

“I do,” she says and he stops trying to interrupt. Her fingers, already twisted in the sleeves of her shirt, tighten enough to make her knuckles go white. “You didn’t fail him, Dean, because it wasn’t your job to keep him safe. It was John’s.”

“I know.” 

“ _Do_ you?” 

He knows.  But it doesn’t help, really.  What’s past is past. “Yeah,” he says anyway. She frowns at him, clearly not believing him but that doesn’t matter either. 

“Dean…” Her fingers flex, but don’t let go. She squints, like she’s trying to see inside his head.  “You didn’t fail him.” Another pause and when she speaks again, her voice is cracked, “John did.” 

Dean’s throat is tight now too so he just nods.  She blinks, eyes shining but she lets it go. “Since I’ve been back, I know I’ve been distant… cold, even.“

Dean looks away, wants to tell her to stop, but the words won’t quite form. 

“Leaving you. Working with them… I was trying to make things right. Just from a distance. Being with you…” her voice falters and Dean finds his own.  

“It’s okay, I get.” 

She doesn’t say anything and Dean holds up the bottle of pills, quirks a half smile.  “Need something to wash these down.” When she doesn’t answer, he turns away and limps toward the mini fridge.

He can’t see her face as he pulls out a beer and pops the lid. “I’d like to start over too,” she says and Dean nods once he’s turned around.  Because what else is he supposed to do? He wants to believe her. 

She’s watching him as he swallows the expired pills. He smiles at her after chasing them with another two mouthfuls. 

“We should probably take you to a doctor,” she says.  He shrugs. 

“Sam will help me stitch it up when he gets back.” He sets the beer onto the table and grimaces at the pain shooting through his knee.  She doesn’t say anything, and Dean raises his eyebrows. “What?” 

Shaking her head, she says, “I’m scared he won’t be able to forgive me.” 

There’s footsteps near the door and Dean turns, already reaching for his gun, but it’s just Sam. Dean feels some of the tightness in his chest drain away. He looks fine, no blood or broken bones.  But his eyes are bright as he stares at Mary. 

“Mom? You don’t have to be afraid of me,” he says and Mary smiles.  Dean watches them, some of the wrenching feeling returning as they hug. And that’s stupid, because he doesn’t want either of them to hurt. Wants Sam to be good with their mom.  

He smiles when Sam meets his eye.  “Glad you’re okay, man.” He grips his little brother’s shoulder; is surprised to be pulled in to their hug, but he goes with it.  Sam grips him tightly and it’s a weird feeling, as he stares at the rows of books behind them, like he’s a guest here. But it’s fine. He’s fine. 

All he needs now is to figure out where the hell Cas went and then they’ll all be together. He pats Sam’s back firmly and pulls back. Sam lets him go, keeps his other arm around Mary. He leaves them to their smiles as he limps back to his beer. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to fix the whole thing but the muses want what they want.


End file.
